


Q is for Quirmian Love Potion

by scarletmanuka



Series: V/V Alphabet Challenge [17]
Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 05:07:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7701931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletmanuka/pseuds/scarletmanuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Gifted to Dazeventura6 because she's been such a huge supporter of this series. </p><p>Non-con warning for use of a love potion</p>
    </blockquote>





	Q is for Quirmian Love Potion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dazeventura6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dazeventura6/gifts).



> Gifted to Dazeventura6 because she's been such a huge supporter of this series. 
> 
> Non-con warning for use of a love potion

The Quirmian ambassador, Abel Dubois, looked around the room, still a little in awe that he had been asked to host the evening. He was new to the post, having only arrived in Ankh-Morpork several weeks ago, and he had assumed he would be eased into the position. It was a bit of a shock when he received the clacks from Lord Rodley advising that he was expected to host a function before month’s end to present the City with a piece of art from one of Quirms most famous painters. It was to be a gesture of ongoing friendship and goodwill between the states, however his personal opinion was that they could have chosen something more inspiring than Girl with a Mollusc Earring. But his job was to host the dinner, and make the presentation, and not to make the decisions. As Ankh-Morpork did not have an Artist’s Guild, there were several dignitaries in attendance, none of which he was sure would care much about the piece.

It was an odd assortment of people present, Dubois thought to himself. The Patrician was there, and seated next to him was the Duke of Ankh. Vimes had a scowl on his face, and from the dirty looks he kept throwing Vetinari’s way, Dubois could only assume that he was here against his will. Next to Vimes was Mr Pony, from the Guild of Cunning Artificers, the closest the city got to an artistic guild. Lord and Lady Rust were also present, as was Mustrum Ridcully, and a younger wizard by the name of Ponder Stibbons. William de Worde and Otto Chriek were there as representatives of  _ The Times _ , and for some strange reason, Harry King was also in attendance.

To Dubois’ surprise, the dinner and presentation went off without a hitch. He had directed his manservant to be very heavy handed with the wine, and this may have helped matters. The only ones at the table who did not seem to be affected were Vimes (who had stuck to water all night), and Vetinari, who didn't seem get at all tipsy, despite politely accepting every glass given to him. 

Just before dessert, his manservant appeared with a tray of small glasses, and a bottle containing a light blue liquid. He placed a glass in front of everyone, and then moved about filling them from the bottle, before he bowed to the ambassador and left. Dubois stood, and raised his small glass. “This drink is made from the Partisan Pear, and in my homeland symbolises friendship, unity, and devotion. We drink it to celebrate with friends, and I wish to drink it with you now, to cement the ongoing relationship between Ankh-Morpork and Quirm.” He noticed the look on Vimes’ face. “It is not alcoholic,” he assured him, “Just symbolic.” There were groans from the other side of the table, and Dubois was sure they had come from the wizards. “There will be more wine to come afterwards,” he added quickly. The groans stopped. “To friendship!” he toasted, and then downed the drink.

“To friendship,” the others parroted (though Vimes rolled his eyes as he said it) and they swallowed their own beverages.

Dubois felt the liquid burn as it went down his throat, and noted that it tasted strongly of cinnamon. His eyes widened in horror, and he stumbled from the table and hurried to the kitchen. He grabbed his manservant by his shirt and shook him. “Where did you get the Partisan from?”

“From the cellar, your Excellency. Like you directed.”

Dubois rushed to the door, and stumbled down the stairs into the damp cellar. A torch was burning on the wall, and he plucked it from the sconce. He made his way down the line of shelving, reading the labels as he went until he found the Partisan. There were four bottles there, all full and sealed. He had only brought four bottles with him. Lined up next to them, in a similar looking bottle, with a similar coloured liquid, was the Quirmian Love Potion. He had also brought four bottles of that to help with his stamina, in case he found a lady friend whilst here. There was only three bottles left.

Dubois slid down to the ground, and began to laugh hysterically to himself, wondering how on earth he would explain this to this guests and come out the other side alive.

 

************************************************************************************

 

Vimes watched as the ambassador ran from the room. Something was wrong, and he knew it had to do with what they had just drunk. It couldn’t have been poison, since he had watched the man drink the same liquid as everyone else, but something had alarmed the Quirmian and caused him to run. Perhaps he had been lying about it not being alcoholic? Though even if it had been (and it had certainly burned as it hit the back of his throat), such a small amount would not be cause for alarm, would it? 

He looked around the room, and tried to determine if anyone was acting any differently. Most of the guests were rather red in the face, but they had been downing good Quirmian Red like they were dying of thirst. Lady Rust was fanning at herself, and had undone the top buttons of her dress. He turned to look at Vetinari, and even his cheeks looked pink.

“I think, sir, that perhaps we should go and have a chat with the ambassador.”

“Why is that, Sir Samuel?” Vetinari asked, cocking his head to one side. 

Vimes stared at the exposed throat of the Patrician, and fought the urge to lean forward and taste that expanse of pale skin. He imagined what it would feel like to lick all the way up the slender column and then nibble back down to the delicate collarbones. “I don’t think that drink was what he said it was,” he said slowly, shaking his head and trying to clear his thoughts. He looked up to find that Vetinari was staring in fascination at his lips.

“You might be right,” the Patrician said, and his hand moved towards Vimes almost of its own accord. He snatched it back as he realised and stood up.

Vimes also stood from the table, and staggered slightly. A slender hand caught him by the arm to steady him, and he felt like a jolt of lightning had shot through him at the touch. He turned to find Vetinari standing closer to him than he’d ever imagined, and something like desire was burning in his eyes. “I think...” Vetinari said, his breath ghosting over his cheek. He raised a hand and trailed a long finger down Vimes’ jaw, unable to finish the sentence.

“You think what?” Vimes asked breathlessly after a minute, as jolts of pleasure surged through his skin at the touch.

Pale blue eyes met his, and he found himself leaning in closer, until their lips were almost touching. A loud moan came from beside them, and their eyes cleared for a moment and they stepped apart, looking at the source of the noise. “Oh my,” said Vetinari, his pupils widening.

Vimes could not have summed it up better. Lady Rust had unbuttoned her dress down to her waist, and had her mouth wrapped around Harry King’s length, and both her hands were busy stroking the cock belonging to Mr Pony (who could have been called Mr Horse). Lord Rust had dropped his pants and was taking his wife from behind. William and Otto were making out like teenagers, and Mustrum and Ponder were busying themselves in the corner of the room. Vimes couldn’t see exactly what they were up to, but occasional sparks of octarine light flashed into the air followed by loud moans.

“That certainly escalated quickly,” Vetinari noted.

“Come on, we’d better find Dubois,” Vimes said. Without thinking, he linked his hand with the Patrician’s and pulled him from the room. The kitchen was empty when they entered, and he surveyed the benchtops, looking for anything suspicious. There was a half eaten meal on the counter, and a glass with the dregs of blue liquid in it. It appeared that the manservant had helped himself to leftovers from the function. Vetinari was rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of his hand, and Vimes was having trouble concentrating. He didn’t know if there was a direct line from his hand to his cock, but he was hard and twitching from the touch. He stepped over to the bin, and reached down with his free hand to pull out an empty bottle. The label had peeled off some and he flicked it up with a finger so he could read it. He swore under his breath, and heard a gasp from beside him. He turned and was pinned against the bench by Vetinari.

“You sound so sexy when you curse, Sam,” the man said, crushing their lips together.

He returned the kiss with vigor, and grabbed hold of Vetinari’s hips to pull him closer. He could feel the answering hardness of the Patrician’s cock and he moaned as their lengths rubbed together through their clothes. He pulled the hem of the black shirt free from Vetinari’s trousers, and splayed his fingers over the warm skin of the man’s back. They continued to kiss, a clash of lips, and tongues, and teeth as they rocked against each other.

There was a crash from somewhere below and reluctantly they parted. “A part of me is saying that we should go and see what that is,” he said, “In case it’s the ambassador. But the other part of me wants to stay here and get you out of these clothes so I can fuck you.”

Vetinari almost mewled at his words. “Let’s just stay here, Sam. Who cares what’s happening down there?”

Vimes kissed the pouting lower lip of the Patrician, and closed his eyes. “We should care,” he said, not believing it. He knew he should, but at this very moment, he really couldn’t bring himself to care at all. The only thing he wanted was to have the writhing body of the city leader pinned under him. “The stuff we drank is a love potion of some sort and we’ve all been affected. We need to find out how long lasting the effects will be.”

With tremendous effort, Vetinari stepped backwards. “You’re right. Let’s go see what’s happening.”

They linked hands again, unable to forgo any contact. The door to the cellar was open and they made their way down the steps as another crash sounded. There were smashed bottles of wine on the ground, and crates strewn over the floor. Leaning face first against one of the shelving units was Dubois. He was naked and his manservant stood behind him, pounding into him. Grabbing him by the hair, the man spun Dubois around and slammed him into another set of shelves, sending more bottles crashing to the ground. “Oh fuck, yes! That feels so fucking good, Anton,” the ambassador cried. “Harder! Harder!”

They watched as the two men shagged each other, and Vimes felt Vetinari press close against his back. “I want you to do that to me so badly,” he whispered into his ear.

Vimes shivered and closed his eyes, picturing what it would feel like to bury himself balls deep into the Patrician’s arse. A hand snaked around his waist and dropped to paw at him through his breeches. His head fell back, and he felt lips at his throat, kissing and sucking at his pulse point. 

“Sir, we really should get some answers,” he managed to gasp.

The Patrician swore, and nipped harder at his throat before removing his hand from its explorations. “I suppose you’re right.”

Vimes stepped towards the rutting couple, and touched Dubois on the shoulder. The ambassador spun around, and his eyes lit up as he saw the two men standing there. “Oooh, you’ve come to play as well!” He pulled the Commander into a deep kiss, his tongue trying to touch the back of his throat. Vimes swatted at him, trying to get him off.

There was a guttural growl from beside them and Dubois was being ripped off him. “Hands off, he’s mine!” Vetinari snarled.

Dubois stepped backwards, and shrugged, grinding himself against his manservant. “No bother, I’ve got Anton here to play with.”

“We need to know what that drink was, your Excellency,” Vimes said before the man could become distracted again.

“It’s just a Quirmian Love Potion. It helps to lower inhibitions and raises libido.”

“So it’s a rape drug?” Vimes asked, aghast.

Dubois laughed. “Oh no, not at all. It lowers inhibitions - it doesn’t make you do anything you hadn’t already thought of doing before. For instance, I could tell that you weren’t interested in kissing me just then, which means you’ve never felt attraction to me before. But Anton here? Well, he and I have been making eyes at each other since I arrived.”

Disregarding the implications of this, Vimes pushed onwards with another question. “How long do the effects last?”

Anton was whispering in Dubois’ ear, and the man was too distracted to answer.

“Ambassador!” Vimes snapped.

He tore his eyes away from his manservant. “What? Oh, right, how long? The amount we drank? A couple of hours at most. Best to just wait it out and enjoy the ride.”

The couple fell back into each other, and Vimes knew he wouldn’t get any more information from the man. He could feel Vetinari still pressed against him, an arm possessively around his waist. He fought to clear his mind, just for a short time longer. “I think we need to lock the doors,” he murmured. “I don’t think we can risk anyone getting out in this state.”

Vetinari allowed himself to be led back up the stairs, remaining calm and pliable as long as Vimes held his hand the whole way. To be honest, he didn't want to let it go anyway and the sooner he made sure no one was let loose in the city, the sooner he could get the Patrician alone somewhere.

The scene in the dining room had turned into a full blown orgy, and Vimes stood with his mouth agape as he tried to tell where individuals began and ended. And the candlestick. Just where exactly did that end? There was a tug on his hand, and he was pulled by the Patrician into the hallway. He smirked at the pout on the man’s face. “Don’t worry. I have no desire to join that lot in there.”

A hand cupped his jaw and intense blue eyes locked with his. “Good, because I’m not sharing you with anyone, even household items.” Vetinari locked his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, and they stood in the doorway, sharing breaths for several minutes. Taking small steps so as not to break the kiss, Vimes inched his way backwards towards the door. Once he bumped into it, he felt behind him for the handle and turned the lock. 

“A locked door won’t stop anyone who really wants to leave,” he murmured against the lips pressed to his. “I’m hoping they’ll all be too occupied to want to go. But it should stop anyone wandering in.”

“Uh huh,” Vetinari agreed. “Now can we please stop worrying about everyone else and just concentrate on us?”

Vimes grinned and led the man upstairs, taking much longer to find a bedroom than it normally would as they seemed to get preoccupied with kissing each other, and removing clothes as they went. They eventually stumbled, naked, into the master bedroom, and Vetinari shoved Vimes onto the bed. He lept, catlike, onto his lap and pinned him beneath him. He trailed one slender hand down the muscled chest, twisting a nipple to hardness as he went. “So strong. So powerful,” he said softly as his fingers continued to explore. “I have no better protector than you.”

“But who will protect you from me?” Vimes asked, only half serious.

“I’m hoping no one,” Vetinari replied with a smirk. He kissed his way down Vimes’ chest, and shimmied his way down the bed until his face was level with the Commander’s groin. He licked a stripe up the underside of the hard cock and smiled in delight at the gasps he elicited. He repeated the action, and then twirled his tongue around the tip, while one of his hands reached lower to cradle the heavy balls. He slid his lips down the silky shaft, hollowing his cheeks to get just the right amount of suction. He felt hands grasp at his hair and his head was held steady while Vimes thrust his cock up into the wanting mouth.

“I’ve never seen anything sexier in my life,” Vimes said as he watched his cock disappear down the Patrician’s throat.

Vetinari hummed, and took him even deeper, causing Vimes to groan and buck even more. He moved a finger to rub lightly over his perineum, and then he circled the tight hole before dipping one finger inside. Vimes cried out as he shot his salty load down Vetinari’s throat, his whole body shuddering as he came. 

Vetinari grinned as he sat up, wiping at a rogue drop of cum on his lips, and then popping his finger in his mouth to suck it clean. “That was delicious,” he said.

Vimes pulled the assassin to him, kissing him deeply, chasing the taste of himself. He then sat up, arranging them so they were both sitting, with their legs locked together. He reached down and took Vetinari’s cock in his hand, using his thumb to swipe at the glistening tip and spread it over his length. He started to stroke, long and slowly, and sucked a mark into the soft skin just below the collarbone. Vetinari moaned at the sensations, and allowed his head to drop back, allowing Vimes even more access to his throat. 

Watching the man in front of him groan and writhe had sent Vimes’ cock to stirring again, and soon it was bobbing against the length in his hand. He took them both in hand as he frotted them, the natural slickness they produced allowing them to slide easily against each other.

“Sam, please, I need you to fuck me,” Vetinari breathed against his ear.

“Only if we can find something to use as a lubricant,” he countered. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

In a flash, Vetinari was off the bed, moving gracefully across the room to the dresser. He rummaged around in the drawers for a moment and then turned with a grin, and a small tub in his hand. Vimes watched the lean body admiringly as he returned to the bed, noting how the muscles rippled beneath the snowy white skin. He accepted the tub from his lover and opened it to find a pale lotion inside. He scooped some onto his fingers, and then moved to kneel behind Vetinari, who had already positioned himself on his hands and knees. He pressed some kisses to the small of the Patrician’s back, and then moved his fingers slowly between the cheeks, spreading them to reveal the tight, puckered hole. He kissed to either side of the opening, and then pressed a digit against it, allowing it to slip inside. He felt the tightness and heat, and heard the man moan before he spread his legs even more. Vimes worked the finger in and out for a few minutes, twisting it until he felt the muscles relax. He added a second finger, and scissored them gently, running his other hand down Vetinari’s spine. 

“Gods, more, Sam!” the assassin cried, thrusting himself back onto the fingers inside him.

Vimes added more lotion, and then inserted a third finger, moving gently to allow for his lover to relax. His dick twitched at the sight of his fingers disappearing inside Vetinari and he quickly rubbed lotion onto himself, unable to wait any longer.

He lined the head of his cock up against the entrance, and kissed along Vetinari’s spine. “Do you want me?” he asked.

“Yes. Oh, fuck me, please.”

He pushed forwards, feeling as he moved past the tight ring of muscles, and soon he was indeed balls deep inside the Patrician’s arse. It felt just as good as he had thought it would. He moaned low in his throat as he rocked against him, taking hold of the slim hips and holding them in a bruising grip. He watched in fascination as his cock disappeared inside and his balls slapped against the pale cheeks.

Vetinari sat back up onto his heels, and Vimes reached an arm around his chest to steady him. His other hand snaked around his waist and soon found his cock. He began to pump up and down with his hand, matching the pace of the thrusts of his hips. Vetinari cried out as Vimes hit his prostate, and the Commander noted what angle it had been and tried to repeat it as much as he could.

“Sam, oh, Sam, that’s it, that’s the spot, yes, there. Yes!  _ Yes! _ ” Vetinari threw his head back as he came, spurting warm fluid over Vimes’ hand. He allowed himself to fall forward, and Vimes followed him, taking hold of his hips again.

“Did you like that?” he asked, his mouth close to Vetinari’s ear. “Did you like coming while my dick was deep inside you.”

“Sam, I want you so badly. Please, Sam. Please.”

Vimes tightened his grip and thrust harder against his lover, feeling the tightness begin to build in his balls. “Beg me again,” he cried.

“Please, take me, Sam. Please! I need you, please take me.”

He thrust once more, and then saw white as he climaxed, filling the Patrician with his seed. His legs suddenly boneless, he slumped forward onto the warm body beneath him.

He must have dozed off because he came awake suddenly to find Vetinari sitting next to him, wiping him down with a warm cloth. There was a gentle look he hadn’t seen before on the Patrician’s face, but he couldn’t find the words to ask what he wanted to. Vetinari finished cleaning them off, and then climbed onto the bed, fitting his body against Vimes’.

“This has been an interesting night,” he said, lacing their fingers together.

Vimes laughed. “You can say that again.” He paused, and gathered his thoughts. “So, Dubois said that the potion wouldn’t have made us do anything we’d not wanted to do in the first place…”

“Yes, I remember him saying.”

‘So, I guess this is something we both wanted then?”

“Sam,” Vetinari said, his pale blue eyes steady as they met his, “I have wanted you since the day I first met you.”

“Oh.” He thought a moment. “If you’d said something sooner, we wouldn’t have so much catching up to do.”

Fingers squeezed his. “I’m happy to play catchup,” Vetinari said. He then laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Vimes asked.

“Oh nothing much. Just, you do realise that the group downstairs have some serious kinks.”

Vimes’ eyes went wide as he remembered the candlestick. “Oh. Oh, my.”

Vetinari chuckled again, and then rolled so he was straddling the Commander. “Now, I believe we were saying something about playing catch up?” he said before capturing Vimes in another kiss.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Resist You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11753778) by [Giggi1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giggi1/pseuds/Giggi1)




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